Saturday, January 23, 2010

My summer of ‘99

Well my best childhood memory was the time I spent with my 3 cousins .Those were the days were we saw wonder in all the mysteries of nature .But as we grow up we got all the explanation from the science classes. Human beings can never accept the ignorance, it really hurts their complex if they don’t know something .They make up stories ,gossips or whatever they can if they are not able to find any logical explanation for something .That is how superstitions were born .
It was so fun to think about the imaginary countries we made up when we were kids. How we set up defense, government, wildlife, marine, transport, houses .Well we were mostly interested in guns, war and animals as my playmates were boys and they never agreed to play with barbies and dolls, so for the girly plays I used to invite my neighbour girl, who was almost about my age. I still remember the fun we had planning operations in war, playing dead and the thrill to watch soldiers getting killed in war in movies. We were so ignorant at that time and took pleasure in all that .But when I look back now I see those innocent faces, not knowing the meaning of death or birth, not knowing which is right or wrong, just being happy and playing all the time. At that times our minds were more free, there was no need to think about consequences, no need to measure the words .We could play in the rain and not worry about catching a cold, we could dress up the way we like and don’t care about the commands others say, we could just gobble up anything without worrying about our waistline getting bigger.
A sadist thing we did when we were children was to load the snails (hard shelled big ones….nasty right?) to our toy trucks and dump them in the trash and when the servant came and burned the trash we watched the green and blue flames coming out of those poor creatures. When I think about it…..I feel sorry for those snails that attained martyrdom for our pleasure. Another exciting part was when we went to collect flowers for onam…we exactly didn’t ask the neighbors permission before plucking flowers from their garden….During one such flower plucking expeditions we encountered a snake…we ran howling all the way back to our homes throwing the flower baskets …near that snake……….

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mourning

Most of the spring flowers have fallen
Moist ground soaks up their faded colours
Last of the spring flowers they are
Lost in the seasons change
Almost at the end of their life
Boosting their last drop of energy

Ghosts of the memories
Frost of the night chills

Why does the moon
Smile on me when I mourn
And the stars mock
Why am I such a moron
Looking so morose
So afraid to face the morning
All I want is kindness, a morsel
My sadness is just a monodrama
Maybe it’s because I am a monotheist
What can I do to change my mood
Sing a song once, twice or more

Why am I deaf to others consoling words
Can’t they understand their words r useless
And I am drowning in the sea of misery
With a piece of my heart missing

View from the top

For me preparing for civil service is like swimming against the current. The most contradictory part is I don’t know how to swim. So basically I have no actual experience of how tough it can be. Still the view from the top is what inspires me……..Wonder what it is? See the preparation process can be sometimes tedious and boring. It’s an uphill climb and when I finally reach the top of that mountain I get the view of the beautiful panorama there. I will feel like I am at the top of the world. But a small doubt is creeping within me nowadays whether I will like the view from the top. How to explain that concept……. Let me give an example….I so wanted to read the Harry Potter book 7 badly that I downloaded it from the net and finished reading that on computer from morning 10 to night 2 O’clock. My eye will never forgive me for the strain I put on them. Next day my eyes were red till afternoon. But after reading that book I didn’t feel excited. I think I was more excited before I read it. You know the intuitions about the unknown kept my curiosity level up. So I am a bit afraid whether I will like my life as a Civil servant. Forewarned is forearmed. So what I do is I prepare my mind to go ahead and grab it whether I like it or not. Because my aim along with the good things that I will be able to do for others is my priority and it will be selfish to think about my conformability level. Most of all being a civil servant means sacrificing some thing for the good of nation.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Revolution never dies

Below the cloudy sky
Follow the windy road

Callow youths under the tree
Willow trees near the pond
Wallowing children in the pond

Yellow flowers by the side
Marshmallow scent in the air
Pillow so soft under your head
Shallow dreams are the above said

Hollow voices be hushed
Gallows of silence be extinct
Allow yourself to listen to
Fellow-beings cry for help
Swallow your pains & grieves
Fallow land be made to bear
Mellow fruits and music
Hallowed grounds for the martyrs
Cellos be played in their honour
Mallow flowers over their graves
Billowing flags over their headstone
………The revolution never dies…………